When The End Comes
by NightcatMau
Summary: Sometimes the end is really just a new beginning. An old series of endings and beginnings. Kinda sad but sweet too, most revolve around Skul and Val breaking up for various reasons. Various pairings.
1. Thank You For Being a Friend

A/N: I don't own Skulduggery, Tanith, or Valkyrie. Skulduggery no longer has a facade because it helps the story. Val is about 22. Bonus points for anyone who can name the show the title is the theme song to.

* * *

I hadn't talked to Skulduggery Pleasant in two days. He'd told me he didn't love me, and it hurt. So I was very angry with him. I ignored his repeated call and texts. Finally on the morning of the third day, my mobile rang. Tanith.

"Valkyrie? Do you have any idea where Skulduggery is?" She sounded upset and immediately ice formed in my stomach. What if he had been calling for help? How could I just abandon him like that?

"No, why? Is something wrong?"

"He called Ghastly last night, frantic. You wouldn't answer his calls or texts. He was so upset, Valkyrie, he didn't know what to do."

"Did he tell you _why_ I wasn't answering?" I asked, failing to keep the anger out of my voice.

"Yes, but he needs you! What kind of friend are you? Do you think I wouldn't stand by Ghastly tomorrow if he didn't love me anymore?" She was angry now.

"But he does love you, doesn't he? I'm sure Skulduggery will show up. He's just having a grand sulk because he didn't get his way." I said, bitterly.

"And you're not?" Tanith shot back. "He needs to be with you every day, you know that. Two days away and he couldn't take it anymore. You're his best fried, Valkyrie! Skulduggery depends on you to help make sense of the world. He's got the Bentley, that's all he would say."

"I still care about him Tanith, you know I do. But I wouldn't even know where to begin looking."

"We hoped he was at your house, to be honest."

I looked out the window pane in the front door. There stood the Bentley.

"The Bentley's outside, I just looked. I didn't see Skulduggery but he can't be far. I'll go find him."

Tanith thanked me and rang off. I sighed, hesitating. Even if I did find him what was there to say? That I was really angry and hoped he'd drop dead? That wouldn't help much. Then I remembered Tanith saying he needed me and my heart softened. I gathered myself and opened the door.

* * *

As I approached I noticed the light frost on The Bentley and deduced it had been parked there all night. But where was Skulduggery? I went around to the driver's side window and saw him. Curled up in the fetal position on the front seats, a look of utter misery etched on his skeletal features.

I realized he'd meditated there all night in the cold to be as near me as possible, and felt tears come to my eyes. Tanith was right, I wasn't being a vary good friend. I tapped on the glass gently and his skull craned up to look at me. A look of wonder crossed his skeletal face, and he sat up to placed his gloved hands beseechingly against the glass.

I put my hands against the cold glass, matching his, and he opened the door to greet me. He was trembling all over, a bewildered look on his face. He hugged me then, as if he thought he'd never see me again, and I could feel his tremors.

"I thought I lost you!" He whispered, brokenly.

"No, no, no." I soothed, rubbing his back and rocking him gently. "You'll never loose me. I'm so very sorry, Skulduggery. Please come inside, it's far too cold for you to he out here."

He made no reply, but let me lead him into the house. I helped him sit down on the couch and realized he was in shock. Not knowing what else to do, I wrapped him in a blanket and sat with him, rubbing his back and holding his hand.

"I lost my best friend." He said dully.

"Never, Skulduggery! Yes, it hurt when you said you didn't love me, but you will _never_ loose me. I'm so sorry, I had no idea you needed to be near me every day. I'd have never ignored you if I knew. It just hurt, it still does, but I'm here with you now and I promise I'm never leaving you alone for an instant if that's what you want."

He turned and looked at me sadly. "But you don't love me anymore as a friend, you don't want me here."

I took his face in both hands before speaking. "I will always be your friend, Skulduggery Pleasant. Your best friend, and yes, I still love you as a friend. You're my best friend, my partner and I don't want to loose you, please forgive me."

I bundled him into a hug them and felt him relax slightly. His arms went around me and he gave me a fierce hug.

"I missed you so much, Valkyrie."

"I know, I'm sorry."

"I wish I could love you the way you want me to, but I just don't feel that way."

"It's OK, Skulduggery. Shh. If you were the one for me you'd love me back, that's how it works, I think."

He pulled away, smiling. "Yes, I think so too. I'm glad we're still friends. I just can't seem to function or be happy if you aren't close to me."

"I know, Skulduggery. You have the same effect on me. I've been miserable and alone for the past two days. I haven't even eaten, come to think of it."

"Would you let a best friend take you to breakfast?" He asked, tilting his head.

"After me abandoning you like that, you want to take me to breakfast?"

"We're best friends aren't we? It isn't like you haven't tried to sulk me to death before." He teased.

"Oh, Skulduggery. Yes, I'll go to breakfast with you."

* * *

We did go to breakfast that day, and for every day after that I never left his side. Two hundred years later and we are still partners and best friends. Skulduggery never did fall in love with me, but I learned to love him as my friend and partner, and somehow that was enough.


	2. Billy-Ray

A/N: I don't own Billy-Ray, Tanith, Ghastly, Skulduggery, or Valkyrie. Well, duh. Here Valkyrie is in her early 30s, and Tanith has at last been rescued and rendered Remnant free. Needless to say, Billy Ray ain't too thrilled about that. Story is in Val's POV.

* * *

We were in one of the Sanctuary meeting rooms when the wall erupted behind me with a rumble. Before anyone could react Billy-Ray Sanguine had hoisted me out of my chair, his straight razor to my throat. "Hello, little darlin'. You and I got some talkin' to do." He said in my ear, his tone eerily friendly. No one even moved as he walked us both backwards, the wall closing in around us. We traveled downwards, and I only prayed he wouldn't let go.

We came up at last in a cave, a natural light source from high above providing dim light. Billy-Ray let me go, and I realized that at the speed we had traveled he still wasn't healed. I turned to him and he grinned, toying with his razor.

I faced him, knowing chances of a rescue were slim. His grin dropped, replaced by a snarl, then he corrected himself. "You all have a habit of ruinin' everything, don't you? How come you had to go and rescue Tanith, she didn't need your rescuing, she was gonna get married to me. She loved me!"

I shook my head in pity. "Even you know better than that, Billy-Ray. That Remnant was toying with you, keeping you around until the day you were no longer useful. Tanith never loved you, ever."

He snarled and raised his razor, charging at me, then doubled over in pain, cursing. "What do you know about love?" He hissed through clenched teeth. "You ain't never been in love with someone who didn't love you back."

"I haven't, have I?" I asked bitterly. Billy-Ray looked up, waved an irritated hand.

"I ain't talkin' about them fool pups Tanith told me about. I mean the real thing. Real love, you ain't never felt that. Huh, you probably never will."

"Yeah, go with _that_ theory." I said bitterly.

Billy-Ray stood up at last, taking off his sunglasses to look at me. The rage drained from his face and it became almost soft. "Well, I'll be, little darlin'. You do have it bad. Anyone I know?"

"I'd rather not say, if it's all the same to you, Billy-Ray."

He frowned, stepping closer. "Aw, come on. You can tell me, you know all about Tanith. I ain't stupid, I know how I look." He went to put his sunglasses on, and I stopped him.

"You don't have to do that. There's nothing wrong with the way you look, Billy-Ray, and if she said there was, she's stupid. You want to know who it is? Right now you look a lot like him. Stupid, isn't it? He won't even look at me twice."

Billy-Ray shook his head. "We sure can pick 'em, can't we, little darlin'? Sorry about the scar I gave you. Maybe it's on account of that, huh?" He sounded hopeful, ever the Southern gentleman and willing to take the blame.

"No, it's on account of him not liking me much. I already know who he likes and it sure ain't me. I'm sorry about the sword wound, Billy-Ray. I really am, you left me no choice." I went to slide down the wall to sit, but Billy-Ray stopped me, taking off his suit jacket and placing it down for me to sit on. I smiled at him. I supposed we'd get back to trying to kill one another, but for now it was nice to have someone I could talk to.

"You all are sure he likes this other woman? Maybe he doesn't, you ever asked?" He pocketed the sunglasses, seemingly happy to have someone who didn't turn away in revulsion.

I laughed without humour. "You should have seen the way he looked at her when they danced, Billy-Ray. I knew then and there I didn't have chance. Then he finds out she did something he should have killed her for, and I only see one reason not to."

Billy-Ray winced. "I'm suspecting you all could be wrong, little darlin'. He ain't got no mementoes or stuff does he? 'Cause I'm expecting you checked."

"He kept the facade, didn't he?"

"But that there is right useful, even if it is kind of dog ugly. Sorry."

"No, you're right, it is ugly, I just never have the heart to tell him. Want to see something really stupid? Here's what I've been carrying the last four years. I don't know why, he's never even said he loved me, or even liked me for that matter. But here, maybe it will bring you better luck than it brought me."

I handed over the ring, listening to Billy-Ray's appreciative whistle. He handed it back, folding my hand around it gently. "No, you keep it, little darlin'. Even if he don't come around you don't go giving things covered in diamonds away."

"I don't know, Billy-Ray. There is a song about it." I half joked, pocketing the ring again.

He smiled faintly. "You all got to know a more cheerful song that that. Name a good one."

"Honestly? 'Sweet Home Alabama' comes to mind."

"I love that song. Now you see, little darlin', you ever want you a Southern gentleman, a real one, you play him that song. Well, I suspect it is about time to be gettin' you back, but truth is, I don't think I can move that far."

I looked at him. "Make you a deal. You never say how it happened, ever, and I'll take care of that. I can make you whole again, Billy-Ray. Heck, I can do a lot of other things too."

"He ain't gonna know?"

"He doesn't even care that I Surged, Billy-Ray. We're not even partners anymore. We were just in the same room with Tanith and Ghastly because we're working the same case. I made the mistake of telling him I loved him, he didn't take it too well."

Billy-Ray just stared at me, tears pouring from his hollow eye sockets. He put a hand to his mouth, then nodded for me to try. I placed my hand on his waist, willing the damaged flesh to heal at long last. Billy-Ray gasped, and I knew it had worked without asking. I stood, handing him back his suit jacket, he nodded his thanks, half turning from me as he shrugged it back on. "You all know I ain't gonna stop killin' people for money?"

"Didn't expect you to, Billy-Ray."

"Might be the suspicious fellow in me, but let's say I let you go somewhere they won't be."

"I aided a known felon, Billy-Ray. I'm not about to turn you in, but I'm thinking my days in the Sanctuary are over anyhow. If I have to look at him one more time I may just shoot him with his own gun."

Billy-Ray grinned. "Always knew there was something I liked about you. Well, seeing as how we two are solo, why don't you leave Ireland with me, get you settled down in a place they won't find you? I know better than to ask if you'd kill people with me."

"I'd appreciate that, Billy-Ray. Got things set up, to tell you the truth. I was just waiting for the right day to leave. Don't suppose you want to go back to America, because that's where I'm heading."

"Don't suppose you'd like to settle in Texas, little darlin'?" He asked, wistfully.

"I better, I bought a ranch there. I figured the last place they'd look for me is your home state, seeing how fond we are supposed to be of one another. But truth be told, I doubt they'll look for me." Billy-Ray grinned, and stepped forward to wrap his arms around me after placing his sunglasses back on. He kissed me softly, a huge grin growing on his face when I didn't pull away. We tunneled straight down, then to the side, and I knew we'd be above ground soon, both of us leaving Ireland for good.

* * *

 **I've been looping 'Sweet Home Alabama' the song just reminds me of Billy-Ray since they are both cheerful and I have a huge soft spot for the man. I want to see him happy for once, in love with someone Landy hasn't made it clear doesn't love him back, you know? Besides, that's what Skulduggery deserves for not loving Valkyrie in return, lol!**

 **P.S. Don't mess with Texas!**


	3. Operator

A/N: I don't own Skulduggery or Valkyrie. Val is about 30 here. Story is Skulduggery's POV, more or less. 'Operator' is a song by Jim Croce. Pay phones and phone booths were common when the song came out.

* * *

Skulduggery took a calming breath he really didn't need being a skeleton, only he did need it. What was he doing, had he lost his mind at last? He berated himself relentlessly as he stood there in the broken-down phone booth, fumbling in the pocket of his trench coat for the old matchbook cover.

He'd written her number down on it hurriedly years ago, and he came here, to this phone booth and repeated this ritual so often it was a well-rehearsed act. He pressed his skull against the cold glass, not even really caring that his hat was getting horribly smashed in the process. If only she'd come back!

He pressed his gloved hands on opposite walls of the confining space, feeling for a moment that he was trapped in a glass coffin. He really wished he was, to tell the truth. Anything was better than this. He dug the frayed matchbook out at last, putting it down on the small metal shelf below the phone and smoothing it out with trembling fingers.

He'd worried the paper so much, touching it like a religious relic on a daily basis that he could no longer see the number or her name. He gritted his teeth and picked up the telephone receiver, trembling as he used his phone card before dialing the international operator.

Skulduggery said her name, and the city she was living in. It took a while but the operator came back with the number which he dutifully wrote down in the matchbook like he did every time. He thanked her, and rang off, then picked up the receiver once again to dial.

He stood there, unable to move, squeezing what functioned as his eyes tightly shut. He clenched his teeth even tighter, not caring if they all shattered. He had to hang up, then dialed the operator again, asking, in a rather shaky voice if she could please dial the number for him, because he didn't seem to be able to.

He confirmed he'd pay the extra charge and listened dully as the operator dialed for him. It always went like this. He heard the phone start to ring as if from deep within a well, the sound barely reaching him. He waited for several moments, then hung up as he always did.

She hadn't wanted him, she'd made that clear. He had proposed and she had looked at him and started to laugh, thinking it was a joke. Then when she had realized it wasn't, his best friend, partner, and the only woman he had ever truly and completely loved walked out of his life for good.

"Valkyrie." He whispered brokenly, wishing with all his heart she could magically hear him and would call back, but she never did. He felt the shaking motions that passed for crying come to him, and this time he didn't fight them. He just convulsed with his skull buried in his hands, sliding down the phone wall booth to sit on the cramped and rather unclean floor.

Once he felt they had passed and he wouldn't wreck the Bentley he got up, smoothing his trench coat, straightening his tie. The hat was a total loss but he supposed it didn't matter. It was the least he deserved for loving a woman who didn't love him, he figured.

He opened up the small sliding door and walked slowly to the Bentley, the matchbook once again in his pocket. He looked back, one gloved hand raised in false hope, then turned back to the Bentley and got in, starting the engine.

"Seat belt." He said automatically, even though he knew she wasn't there and never would be again. He put the Bentley in drive, never even hearing the pay phone as it started to ring.

* * *

 **'Operator' is one of my favorite songs ever, and I owed Skulduggery one from his point of view. I pretty much cry every time I hear the song too.**


	4. Time In A Bottle

A/N: I don't own Skulduggery, China, or Valkyrie. Val is about 30, but it doesn't really matter this time. Story is from Skulduggery's POV. 'Time In A Bottle' is a song by Jim Croce. Enjoy!

* * *

Skulduggery stood on the pier where they'd met so many times, reflecting. He remembered the first night he'd ever met her. She'd only been twelve then, and the sight of him without the disguise had caused her to faint. To her credit she had recovered and demanded to go with him that night, and because she was so very young and because she needed protecting, he took her.

They had never looked back. He'd given her every chance he could at a normal life, repeatedly opened the door so she could bow out gracefully, but she never had. She'd fought by his side, she was a god-killer. She was the one who had rescued him, in more ways than one. His life had been bleak before he'd met her, meaningless, and for however briefly she had been with him, she had brought him a purpose to go on.

Skulduggery had left the radio on and the window to the Bentley down, so now his keen hearing could pick up the first strains of 'Time In A Bottle'. She had loved that song, he'd even overheard her singing along to it once as he approached her window, her voice low and sweet, but he'd never told her. He'd thought she had a beautiful singing voice and had stood under her window, listening in utter awe of her.

The song caused him a pang where his heart should be, and he reflexively clutched at his chest. He would save time in a bottle if he could. He would trade all of what was very likely to be an eternity for just one moment with her. He wished fervently that he could reach back in time and correct his mistakes.

He should have trained her better, he should have been more alert to her. There were so many things he wished he'd done with her, and now the chance would never come. Skulduggery shook his head, wishing he'd coaxed her out onto the dance floor at the ball that night the way he'd longed to.

Instead he'd danced with China Sorrows of all people, pretending she was Valkyrie. But it would have hardly been proper to dance with Valkyrie that night, she'd been far too young and he'd been sure he'd have done something terribly improper. Like kissing her. He winced at the memory feeling the old guilt flood over him.

He wondered briefly, how people went on. He was hardly a stranger to loss, in his over four hundred years he'd seen countless people pass on like withered leaves in a bitter wind. But it hadn't hurt so much before. Not even with his wife and child, and he'd been rather glad he'd died when they did, hoping to follow them into the afterlife.

But he seemed doomed to live on, trapped in his skeletal form forever. When Valkyrie had shown up it hadn't been so bad. Well, being a skeleton was quite bad when he realized he loved her. He couldn't imagine her ever being able to love him in return, ever being able to accept more than a friendly hug.

Skulduggery wondered what she would say to him now, seeing him standing here like this, and he knew. She'd yell at him for standing on the pier, tell him to stop feeling sorry for himself, that he was expected at the Sanctuary later that day, and to get on with it.

He smiled behind his disguise. He was wearing it again, because it made him feel close to her. He was wearing the trench coat too. It was a very hot day just as it had been the first time he'd ever saw her, and just for the merest second he thought he heard her voice calling to him.

But it couldn't be. Still he swore he felt her presence close by. Skulduggery felt obliged to talk to her as he used to.

"You know, Valkyrie, there's something I should have told you a long time ago. When you turned twenty one, as a matter of fact. But there never seemed to be enough time. Did you hear your song when it came on the radio? I know you loved it, I almost felt you made the DJ play it just now. You would too, just to tell me to get moving. Just to let me know you're here."

He smiled briefly, then continued. "What I've meant to say, Valkyrie, for a very long time, is that I'm in love with you. I didn't mean for it to happen, and I can't imagine how you are taking the news or even if you can hear me. But I never told you because I love you and let's admit it, you could do better than me without even trying. I'm stalling, aren't I? I'm putting off the one thing you asked me to do, that I agreed to do before you- Before you went away, leaving me here alone."

He shifted the small object in his hands, his hands nervously and protectively clutching at it, not willing to do what he had to. He'd tell her the rest of it, then. Then he'd do what he had to. He owed them both that much at least.

"But even without telling you, Valkyrie, the years with you have been the happiest ones in my rather long life. I appreciated every chance I ever got to see you, every mobile call you made to me when you were bored or alone. I'd told myself if you were still around in a century or so I'd man up and tell you. I guess this is as close as I'll ever get. I don't regret it though, Valkyrie Cain, not a moment of it."

He rose at last, blessing himself and whispering a few prayers in his rusty Latin. He held the precious object to his chest, preparing himself for what he had to do. At last he was able to gently unscrew the lid and tenderly and reverently, he scattered her ashes into the sea.

* * *

 **'Time In A Bottle' is also a Jim Croce song I adore. I've been saving it for years for a lead male character. If you've never heard it, go give it a listen. The guitar is simply plaintive, the whole song reminding me of a rather morose music box for some odd reason.**


	5. Hitman Deluxe

A/N: I don't own Billy-Ray, Skulduggery, China, or Valkyrie. Thanks to everyone who cheered on Billy-Ray and Bubblegum Lord for letting me know the ship is called Valguine. Explains why Bilkyrie just doesn't come up in search engines. doesn't it? Val is about 22 here, story is in her POV, enjoy!

* * *

I struggled against the chains that held me uselessly. They were inscribed with the same sigils the Sanctuary used on our cuffs, so my magic was drained. There was no calvary coming this time either. Skulduggery and I were no longer partners. I supposed it was a mistake telling him I was in love with him, but I never expected his mocking laughter in reply. Or to be coldly informed that he had a lover, being a very forgiving man since China had special 'talents' I could never hope to match.

Of course I bet he never expected the car bomb that blew him and that precious Bentley sky high, either. But then, I never did take rejection well. The problem being of course I was now on the run from the Sanctuary and the people who had wanted me dead before still did. Hence being chained to a cold stone wall in what felt like a Necromancy temple.

The door to the small stone room I was in opened, and in strode a Necromancer, clad in a stupid black robe I supposed was meant to frighten me. He tripped and I barked with laughter. If I was going to die, I'd do it laughing in his face. The Necromancer's head snapped up, his ugly fat face coming into view. Ew. Never had seen him before, wished I hadn't seen him then. He came towards me, bellowing in rage. "You killed a God, a Faceless One! You will pay for your crimes!" He hauled off and slapped me, then things got interesting.

I heard noise coming from the furthest point of the room, a sound like the walls crumbling, then nothing. But I grinned broadly at my captor nonetheless, knowing his day was about to go South. Deep South. "Hey, fat and ugly. Why not let me go? I'll kill you too and you can see your precious gods again. And since when do Necromancers love the Faceless Ones anyhow? Oh, don't tell me. You really do, don't you?" His face purpled in rage and he slapped me again, drawing blood.

"Now see, you oughten have done that. A real gentleman never hits a lady." The voice that came out of the darkness made the Necromancer spin around.

"Who are you? Come out where I can see you!"

Billy-Ray Sanguine complied, stepping into the light. He grinned, giving me a salute with his straight razor. "Hello, little darlin'. I understand you went and got yourself some revenge. Good for you. Don't suppose you all would like me to set you loose, would you?"

He walked closer, ignoring the Necromancer completely.

"I'd appreciate it. I understand you also had your own revenge. Could of told you Remnants are never faithful, Billy-Ray."

He chuckled good-naturedly. "Well you know, us hitmen little darlin'. Always got to keep our edge." He emphasized the last point, straightening his razor fully before spinning and dropping the Necromancer with a single slice to the neck.

Billy-Ray turned back to me, laughing softly. "Can't tell you how many times I wanted you hog-tied and served up right pretty, but your killin' old Bones did put a smile on my face. Not as big a smile as cuttin' up his little filly did, of course. She had a right nice set of lungs on her to scream, too."

I laughed. "Why, thank you, Billy-Ray. I didn't know you gave out presents."

He waved a hand cheerfully. "T'wasn't nothin' at all. I like you, you don't need no heebie-jeebie shadow thing in you to be a killer. So let me make you an offer. I let you go, you come with me."

I nodded, at that point I had no other options. Billy-Ray set to work on the cuffs, both of us aware of shouting and pounding feet fast approaching. The cuffs let loose just as fists started to bang on the door and angry voices demanded to know what was going on.

"Looks like the calvary is here, little darlin'." Billy-Ray said. He stepped forward wrapping his arms around me, and we sank into the floor just as the door burst open.

* * *

We traveled for a short distance, Billy-Ray coming to a stop, panting softly. "Bet you regret cutting me now, huh, little darlin'?" He half-joked, half-snarled.

"Billy-Ray, you were trying to kill me at the time."

"On account of hating you so very much. Don't be remindin' me of that now, or I'll be leavin' you here."

I reached out in the darkness, finding the side of his head, making sure to put a smile on my face. I stroked his hair softly, Billy-ray shifting slightly so I could bring the other hand up as well. That was a mistake. I grabbed his neck in both hands, squeezing. "I'm only going to tell you this once, Billy-Ray. The last partner who left me I killed, got that?"

I let go and he laughed in delight. "Well you got a lot of spirit little darlin'. Not a lot of sense, but a lot of spirit." He had his straight razor at my throat. There was a moment of tense silence, then we both burst out laughing at the same time.

Billy-ray spoke, fondness in his voice. "Well, well. Looks like we are right suited to one another. Tell you what. I got me a serious hankerin' for some of the Chinese food they sell not far from here, you manage not to kill me, and I manage not to kill you, and we've got ourselves a partnership. Deal?"

I listened to his rich Texan accent and felt my body go soft. This time when I reached out to stroke his hair, there was no hidden intent behind it, well, maybe a little. I heard him laugh softly and he shifted, his lips finding mine in the darkness, his arms gripping me firmly. He intensified the kiss, then pulled away as we started to move forward once more. We came aboveground, and he grinned at me. Billy-Ray removed his sunglasses as he sauntered forward, bringing his empty sockets close to look deeply into my eyes, a wicked grin on his handsome face.

I laughed and pulled him towards me. If we didn't kill each other it would be a fine partnership, and the way he was kissing me I was in no hurry to end his life.

* * *

 **Hope you liked it, Billy-Ray just doesn't seem to be going anywhere fast. I honestly had no idea my favourite Texan had a fanbase as big as he does.**


	6. Renegade

A/N: I don't own Billy-Ray, Valkyrie, Skulduggery, Tanith, Ghastly, or Darquesse. Val is about 30 here, story is from Billy-Ray's POV, more or less. 'Renegade' is a song by Styx. I swear they wrote it for Billy-Ray.

* * *

Billy-Ray Sanguine smiled as he stepped into the bright Texas sunshine. His hands were bound behind him in magical cuffs, but they had let him keep his sunglasses. He walked calmly towards the gallows, reckoning that only in Texas would they hang him so high. It had to be at least a good story up to the platform, but then, he'd always planned on a big exit.

He grinned as he passed the small crowd. Well, not so much a crowd. There was Tanith with Ghastly's arms wrapped around her, and that stupid skeleton detective. The padre was murmuring the last rites, but Billy-Ray didn't hear him. He _did_ hear the creaking of the gallows as he approached, but his smile never faded. The hangman came down from the gallows, escorting Billy-Ray up to the platform, strangely gentle for a man who was about to kill him. Billy-Ray was polite, his mama always had insisted a Southern gentleman have good manners.

But he was a Texan first, so he refused the proffered hood. No, he'd face death with his eyes wide open. His eyes wide open. The thought caused Billy-Ray to laugh, and the local Sanctuary agent nearly fell off the platform in surprise. They were yammering some fool business at him about justice, and how he had to pay for his crimes, but Billy-Ray wasn't listening. He was only thinking of her. She hadn't shown like he hoped, but what did he expect? He meant nothing to her, obviously, and in a few minutes it wouldn't matter anyhow.

He looked out into the vast nothingness of the Texas plains, now ravaged by drought and thought his keen vision picked up a dust cloud far away, seemingly headed towards them. He turned his gaze back to the crowd, such as it was and smiled real nice. He wasn't going to have it said that the hitman deluxe died crying or begging for forgiveness.

The dust cloud seemed to be drawing nearer, but he turned his gaze away. He was moved under the noose to stand on the small door that would soon drop him into eternity. But Billy-Ray held his head high even as the noose tightened around his neck. He thought he could hear distant hooves and chided himself for being a fool. Not a soul living or dead cared if he hung, but he had rather hoped she would. That she'd at least come see him off. The padre began a droning prayer and Billy-Ray tuned it out, listening to the hoofbeats as they drew closer. One rider, coming fast.

Then the prayer was over and everyone was leaving the platform. The hoofbeats were even louder, or was it his own heart he heard? The last person stepped down from the gallows, and a rider appeared. Tall in the saddle and clad in a black cowboy hat and duster, the rider spurred a foamed-mouthed black horse towards the gallows at the same time the hangman put his hand on the lever.

The lever creaked, the rider drew a peacemaker and aimed. Billy-Ray smiled. Hitting a rope from the back of a fast-moving horse was impossible, he thought as the door under him opened. The shot rang out and he fell, no rope to stop him. The rider kept coming hard, splaying out a hand to catch Billy-Ray with shadows and drag him into the saddle. The shadows swelled, and he could feel them and the horse shadow-walking. The shadows receded, and Billy-Ray saw they were in a canyon, dried scrub all around them.

"Whoa girl, all right now. Good job. Whoa." The rider spoke with a familiar voice, reining in the horse so she slowed to a walk. Billy-Ray twisted, trying to see past the black bandana. Brown eyes met his with amusement.

"Hello, Billy-Ray."

"Little darlin'?" He asked, scarcely believing it was her.

Valkyrie Cain pulled the bandana down and grinned at him. "Told you I'd come for you."

She stopped the horse and freed him from the cuffs with a mere touch. They walked towards a cave in the towering canyon wall.

"Not that I ain't right grateful, little darlin', but how'd you get here?"

"One of the great things about Skulduggery rejecting me was nobody knew about my Surge, Billy-Ray. So I bided my time, waiting for them to find you so I could come like I promised. It was easy to shadow-walk from Ireland to Texas, considering just how powerful I've become. Darquesse was nothing compared to what I can do."

Billy-Ray grinned. "I knew you'd do right by me, little darlin'. But I did only kiss you once as I recall."

"Once is all it takes if it's the right man, Billy-Ray." They stopped at the cave entrance and she lifted off his sunglasses, catching him by surprise. Then she kissed him, full and deep, and his arms were around her, and he swore he could smell sage in bloom.

They parted at last, and she smiled as she led him into the cave. It was cool in there, and he appreciated being out of the sun. She called the horse over, drawing a canteen out of the saddlebag, handing it to him. She gave the horse a good smack on the rump and it took off, free to go back from whence it came.

He drank deeply, thinking water had never tasted so sweet. But he was a gentleman, and as a Texan he appreciated the treasure water was, so he handed the canteen over, making sure she drank her fill.

Then she closed the canteen and gave him a crooked grin. "Looks like I'm an outlaw now, Billy-Ray. At least I'm dressed for it."

"You look right pretty, little darlin'. I'd say you're a sight for sore eyes, but on account of my having no eyes that's just plain silly. Now as silly as the look on Mr. Funnybone's face though when he saw you ride by. He just stood there, like all of them. But they didn't count on a gang of desparados showing up to rescue me."

"A gang of one?"

"This is Texas, little darlin'. The horse counts. She was a fine-looking filly, by the way, but not nearly as fine-looking as you."

"Why, Billy-Ray, you certainly are charming when you set out to be. Much nicer than when you were trying to kill me."

"Water under the bridge, little darlin'. I don't hold a grudge against you for the cut you gave me, considering."

He took her in his arms, kissing her eagerly, feeling her respond with just as much passion. At long last they parted, and he put his sunglasses on with a grin.

"I reckon I'm about to return the favour you just done me, we got company a-comin' and I don't have a hankerin' to be here to greet them. Of course, that all depends on what you think of us, don't it? Just say the word and I'll let you shadow-walk out of here by your own leave."

"Now, Billy-Ray, did I come all this way and spend all that money on a good horse just to leave you here alone?" She stepped forward, wrapping her arms around his neck, and he embraced her tightly. They sank into the floor of the cave, disappearing from view just as the posse rode up.

* * *

 **Well, well. Looks like everyone's favourite Texan has done it again. He certainly can charm Valkyrie, can't he?**


	7. There's A Tear In My Beer

A/N: I don't own Valkyrie, Skulduggery, or Billy-Ray. Val is about 24 here, story is in her POV. 'There's A Tear In My Beer' is a duet sung by Hank Williams Jr. and Sr.

* * *

I was driving over the dirt roads, following Billy-Ray's directions. This had to be wrong. I'd been driving for almost ten minutes since I'd turned off where he indicated and still hadn't reached his 'little spread'. I got out my mobile and dialed him. "Billy-Ray, I turned off ten minutes ago and still can't find your place."

He chuckled into the phone, then spoke, his Texas accent sending shivers down my spine. "You all are on my spread now, little darlin'. Come on ahead a whiles and you'll see the place. We've all been waitin' for you." He rang off leaving me to wonder what I'd gotten myself into.

Who was we? Five minutes later I had my answer. I drove past pens of horses, huge cattle pens, and drew up to a huge sprawling mansion of some of the greenest pastureland Texas had to offer. Plenty of cowhands were tending to things, boots, sunglasses and cowboy hats seeming to be both useful and a required dress code for all of them.

Billy-Ray stood on the front porch, dressed in a new brown suit and boots, his ever-present sunglasses on. He grinned broadly at me as I got out of the rental car. I walked up the steps and he greeted me warmly.

"Hello, little darlin'. Enjoy your flight?" He asked, wrapping his arms around me and drawing me forward for a deep kiss. I could tell by that kiss he'd missed me every bit as much as I'd missed him, and I was content to return his affections in answer.

Billy-Ray broke off the kiss at last, laughing, holding the door open for me so I could enter the cool mansion. "Well now! You all got here just in time. I was fixing to put some steaks on the grill. You're going to love these little darlin'. Finest Texas beef right from my own herds. All grass fed unlessin' we get a drought, of course. None of those strange chemicals in my cattle either."

"That sounds wonderful, Billy-Ray. But you said this was a little spread I drove fifteen minutes to get here."

He laughed taking me in his arms again. "Well now, you all know how modest I am. There's roughly 250,000 acres right now, but that is small considerin' what I'm plannin', little darlin'. I only got 2,000 head of cattle now, but I want to bring in more stock and start breedin' horses as well. A man's got to have somethin' to do when he ain't bein' a hitman, after all."

He kissed me again, deeper than before, and I was more than happy to answer him, opening my mouth to him, enjoying the delighted sounds he made as he accepted my invitation. I gripped his head, seriously wishing he'd just take off the sunglasses. I needed to see him, not my own reflection.

I reached up and removed them when he didn't seem about to, and he broke off the kiss, startled. "Now, little darlin' I'll be needing those back." He held out his hand. His voice softened and he continued, touching my cheek. "I know you don't want me in them, and you'll get that, later. But for right now I can't be scaring my ranch hands off. Still, I thank you kindly for the gesture, much appreciated."

He leaned forward to kiss me briefly, then took his sunglasses and put them back on. He grinned at me broadly. "I ever tell Bones how happy I am he turned you down? Because I sure am. Well, right this way to the back porch and I'll rustle us up those steaks I promised."

I followed Billy-Ray, wondering silently if I was here to stay or just for an extended visit. He hadn't said either way, just that he wanted me here. Having a hitman deluxe as a lover was proving more difficult than a mere skeleton ever would have been, but I liked it just fine.

* * *

The steak was wonderful, and Billy-Ray got bonus points for being able to eat with me. I'd been attracted to him for years, there was something exciting about the man who used to grab me and tunnel through walls or the ground. I'd killed the last man to refer to him as a mole, but for the life of me I couldn't remember who it was.

Billy-Ray had the radio on, country music drifting over the porch as we ate, and his handsome face softened as a particular song came on. "You hear that, little darlin'? 'There's A Tear In My Beer'. Hank Williams Jr. singing with his daddy, of course it had to be mixed seeing as how it was recorded after his daddy's passin'. But I listened to that song and all my Hank Williams Sr. and Jr. albums while waitin' on you to agree you come over. What took you so long, little darlin'? Didn't you trust me to treat you proper?"

"I didn't know how serious you were Billy-Ray, and then there was Tanith-"

"Oh, that." Billy-Ray screwed up his handsome face in disgust. "Don't be remindin' me of my temporary lapse in good judgment, little darlin'. She never loved me, ever. No one has really, exceptin' you. That is of course if you don't still got your heart set on that bag of bones you were hankerin' after."

I laughed. "Him? Lord no. As soon as he turned me down I realized the mistake I made. I should have went after the man I really wanted in the first place, but he was otherwise occupied with a Remnant." I teased.

Billy-Ray snorted. "I ever see one of those heebie jeebies again I'm going to cut it, just to see if it can bleed. He smiled fondly at the idea and we finished our meal in happy silence, Billy-Ray getting me up to slow dance when the DJ obligingly played 'There's A Tear In My Beer' over again due to a listener request.

Billy-Ray held me close as we danced and I melted into him, enjoying the heady mix of aftershave and cologne he wore, as well as the muscular warmth of his body. He let go of one of my hands to slip am arm around my waist, and I reached up to gently grasp his shoulder. He smiled down at me, and we danced for what seemed like an eternity, and the song was repeated over and over.

* * *

A few weeks later I woke and stretched, not wanting to leave Billy-Ray's delicious warmth. He'd had the padre out, and now I admired the diamond ring that seemed to glow in the dimly lit room. I smiled, remembering how Billy-Ray had got on one knee the morning after my arrival, pleased to no end that I'd been up and in the saddle, riding his range since before dawn to check the herd with him.

We were married now and although he'd apologized for a ranch not being the best place for a honeymoon, I loved it. I admired his sleeping outline and was just able to make out his hollow sockets in the dim light. To me they made him more sexy, more attractive, not less, and I had his sunglasses off at every possible opportunity. I saw him grin and wondered how long he'd been awake. "Mornin' little darlin'. Or can I start callin' you Mrs. Sanguine now?"

I cuddled in closer. "That would suit me just fine, Billy-Ray. You know I'm proud to be your wife."

"No skeletons in your closet?" He teased, but there was a worried tone in his voice.

"Billy-Ray, I'm a Texan now. I find a skeleton in my closet and I'm going to shoot it." He laughed, clearly delighted and relieved at the same time.

"Well then, Mrs. Sanguine, what do you want to do today? We can take the day off if you want, the ranch hands know what to do without me ridin' herd on them."

"Well, I was thinking, Billy-Ray, and mind you, I was just thinking this, but I was thinking we stay around the ranch and see just what kind of Texas LongHorns I got for my money."

He sat up, pulling me into his embrace. "You told me you had a wedding present in mind, but that beats all, little darlin'." He kissed me deeply, tears of joy spilling from his hollow sockets. When we at last separated he looked at me fondly. "It takes a special kind of woman to adapt to living on a ranch, but I think you'll be the boss lady in no time if you keep this up."

"Well cattle are nowhere near as fine a wedding present as you are, Mr. Sanguine, but I'm happy you like them."

We got out of bed and dressed. It was wonderful to be married and spend time alone, but we had a ranch full of hands depending on us, and there would be a huge celebration later that day Billy-Ray assured me, after his vet had checked the new cattle and they'd been put in a separate pasture until their quarantine was over.

We'd be starting the new herd together, and that suited Billy-Ray and me just fine.

* * *

 **Well, hope you liked it! The song was a favorite of my daddy's, and his daddy's before him, and I still remember him playing it on the jukebox. The perfect song for when you're missing someone, or you're delighted to see them again.**


End file.
